For all the fun America had this weekend, it was only a matter of time before we all heard the “wow why’d I do that” stories. Without hesitation- lets get into our first top 3: WORST 4th of JULY MOVES.
Coming in at #3:
Not bad. Pretty stupid but hey, at least the re-re’s had a helmet on so they get the 3 spot.
#2 Man says “fuck those alligators” before jumping into a bayou and immedietly eaten by alligators:
GC – This weekend, a man in Texas decided to jump in the waters of the bayou and go for a late night swim after drinking heavily at a bar. The only problem? That stretch of water was known to be home to giant alligators. I know what you’re thinking: How could he have known that? Well, his friends warned him and there were giant signs posted that said “No Swimming. Alligators.” But what did our hero do? Well, let’s go to CNN for his decision making process:
He said ‘blank the alligators’ and jumped in to the water and almost immediately yelled for help,” [Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price] said.
Well this move is so bad you almost have to respect it. If your gonna go out fighting against alligators the go to line would have to be “fuck those alligators”. Ballsy. RIP.
#1 spot goes to a New England man with the audacity to shoot a firework off his own skull:
CALAIS, Maine (AP) — A 22-year-old man who was drinking and celebrating the Fourth of July tried to launch a firework off the top of his head, killing him instantly, authorities said Sunday. Devon Staples and his friends had been drinking and setting off fireworks Saturday night in the backyard of a friend’s home in eastern Maine, said Stephen McCausland, a spokesman for the state Department of Public Safety.
Staples, 22, of Calais, a small city on the Canadian border, placed a reloadable fireworks mortar tube on his head and told his friends he was going to light it, McCausland said. But his friends urged him to stop. “Apparently, he thought that was a great idea,” McCausland said. “His friends they thought dissuaded him from doing it, and the next thing they knew, he ignited the fireworks and he was killed instantly.”
Rule #1 make sure you breathe or you will die.
Rule #2 dont lite fireworks off your head or you will die.